Sunday Drunch

18/04/2021

Drunk on Puppy Love!

‘Puppy love’ before my 30's used to mean a young love, exciting and innocent, a love that would drive you barking mad and keep you up at night. A love where you might shed some hair in your juvenile sweethearts shower just so they can be reminded of you the next time they enter! ‘Oh Anna was here again, must get that spare key back from her’!

Although I could never train them well with a ‘recall’! ‘Fetch me the charger from the other room my dear’ and I would never see them or that pricy plug which fuels my existence again! 

Now as an old hag ‘Puppy Love’ just means when you let a dog lick your face a million times to feel something! Even if that something is ringworm! 

If you gave every miserable prick in the world a puppy how many arseholes would you have left? 

My boyfriend's nephew ‘Barry’ the Cavapoo came to visit, 9 weeks old, a piece of floof that could fit in the palm of your hand or in my case he just nestled himself so nicely into my décolletage. That sexy bit of neck has been the comfort for many a man ‘Barry’ but no one as cute or hairy as you, a quick reminder that I have always been able to grow more facial hair than the lads I dated.

In the depths of the first lockdown I declared to my family that I needed a therapy dog to which my Da replied ‘Who needs the therapy, you or the dog?’ 

It was exactly what I needed to hear. Why would I burden this dog? I am supposed to pick up their shite not the other way round.  

Maybe the next time Barry is over I will just whisper in his ear ‘Sometimes I get sad thinking about the people in the world who must be sadder than me’ sweet relief and back to work. 

Work like a dog? who created that phrase because in my opinion Dog’s have the suss. 

Eat, sleep, be adored. Repeat. 

I am so drunk on Puppy love and to be honest my boyfriend went right down the prick scale when he was holding ‘Barry’ this morning! The way he cared for him would do things to your ovaries so I’m off to explore that. Good night x